onsdag 30. januar 2013

have you moved on or is it all repressed?

I struggle with this. Have I moved on or am I only repressing it all?
As I mentioned here I am a master in repressing my feelings. Earlier, I often found myself very angry and/or frustrated, without actually having a obvious reason for it. I read a lot about how our mind tends to work, and suddenly I was able to connect these negative reactions to certain situations or feelings.

The connections were so obvious that I am almost embarrassed. Also, the situations causing this repression were situations that naturally would (and should) affect me, so nothing wrong with having these emotions. The situations affecting me could be all from very trivial things to a more profound problem.

After this discovery, I am constantly aware of this. I recognize my reactions and I can almost immediately connect them to the source, and it reduces my anger and/or frustration.

This is really healthy and good progress for me.

But.. when do you know when you have moved on from a problem or situation instead of actually repressing it? I fear that I am still going back, exploring the negative feelings, just because I'm scared that I am repressing. Am I making sense? What I try to say is that sometimes I go back to the negative feelings when it is actually all unnecessary. I have moved on, I shouldn't go back. But I still do. Either consciously or unconsciously.

When is it healthy to go back and work more on the feelings? When is it time to just move on?

Maybe I just need time. Maybe I need to work even more on being aware of how my brain is working. I have had a tendency to focus on negative things, and I think it is often hard for me to let go. Letting go of certain feelings and situations, even though negative, often means letting go of the person behind that. Someone who you might have loved for a very long time.


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